“I speak to my child in my home language… so why do they always answer in English?”

This is something I hear so often from multilingual families here in Mallorca, and it can feel confusing - even a little hurtful.

But here’s the truth:
Your child isn’t rejecting your language.
They’re not rejecting you.
They’re adapting to the environment around them.

Research shows it’s not defiance - it’s efficiency. When children reply in the “easier” or majority language (often English in international schools), three things are usually happening:

1. They’re reading the room.
Children are incredibly tuned in to what’s spoken around them. If school, friends, screens and daily life happen mostly in English, that becomes their default - even at home.

2. They know communication will still work.
If you switch languages easily, they know you’ll understand whichever one they choose. So they pick the quickest, simplest route.

3. They don’t need the minority language to get what they want.
If they can get snacks, attention, screen time and conversations using only English, then the home language becomes optional. And “optional” is fragile.

So what can help?

✨ Keep speaking your language warmly, without pressure.
✨ Create real reasons for them to use it - video calls with family who don’t speak English, playdates, community events.
✨ Surround them with other children who speak the same language - peer motivation is powerful.

Your child isn’t rejecting your culture or your identity.
They’re simply adapting to an environment where English is dominant.

The good news? You can reshape the environment - gently, consistently, one small choice at a time.